The doshas and parenting


Our constitutions affect how we behave with our families. Because this is determined largely by heredity, families usually have a concentration of people with the same dominant dosha. Two pitta parents, for example, will almost always have all pitta dominant children.

When the parents are of different constitutions things can get less predictable. A child’s constitution is also influenced by the age of the parents and the prenatal health of the mother.

Vata parents tend to be distracted and spaced out. Since the hallmark of vata is irregularity and inconsistency, vatas tend to have a problem with their own discipline, not to mention maintaining a consistent routine and sense of discipline. Of course, kids are masterful at sniffing out these lapses in the rules so a vata parent’s house is usually stimulating with a plethora of just-started art projects, but little sense of routine or well established rules and procedures. Think nobody washing the dishes.

Pitta parents tend to be intense and demanding, just like they are at work. They tend toward easy anger, but the flip side is that they will be consistent disciplinarians and run a tight ship. Everyone knows the rules. A pitta household is productive and often the parents, especially if they are athletes themselves and have pitta kids, will encourage their little ones to excel in sports.

Kapha parents are likely to be slow, even lethargic, and easy going. In the race between the tortoise and the hare, they are the tortoises. Mama and Papa Kapha like consistency and regularity, so the family will usually have evolved a pretty set schedule. Kapha parents dislike confrontation (let’s hope they never have teenagers…), so discipline may be hard to find in the home. Kaphas are built for comfort, not for speed, and the family pace may seem like molasses to an observing pitta. But they make up for it with stamina, so the family unit actually does often get a lot done in the long run, they just don’t set any speed records.

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The Tea Talk Blog is written by Karta Purkh Singh Khalsa, Yogi herbalist with over 40 years experience.
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